The First Question Every Leader Should Ask Before a Big Meeting

Before a high-stakes meeting, most leaders start by building content.

They pack their slides with data. Add backup details. Try to cover everything—just in case.

But here’s the truth:

Information doesn’t move people. Emotion does.

And if you want to create the right emotional response, you need to start with one powerful question:

“How do I want them to feel when they walk out of this room?”

That feeling—whether it’s urgency, confidence, or trust—shapes how your audience hears you, remembers you, and decides what to do next.

Because your team, your board, your stakeholders—they’re all on a journey.
And if you want them to move, they need to believe they can.

Where Most People Start—and Why It Doesn’t Work

We default to logic.

We try to prove our value. Show our thinking. Lay out the facts.

But the most effective communicators do something different.
They start with the transformation they want to create—and then ask:

What emotion clears the path for that change?

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Emotion Drives Outcomes: Here’s How

Let’s say you’re heading into a meeting with real stakes. What feeling should guide your message?

1. You need people to take action.

• Start with what’s at risk.

• Focus the message.

• Don’t sugarcoat the urgency.

🟡 Feeling to create: Urgency
🟡 Why it matters: People move when the cost of inaction is clear.

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2. You’re asking for buy-in.

• Clarity builds confidence.

• Simplicity signals strength.

• Avoid overexplaining.

🟡 Feeling to create: Confidence
🟡 Why it matters: People support what they believe in—and believe they can deliver.

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3. You’re facing skepticism.

• Lead with empathy.

• Make space for input.

• Show that you’ve been listening, not just talking.

🟡 Feeling to create: Trust
🟡 Why it matters: People listen when they feel seen.

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The Science Behind It

Psychologists call it the affect heuristic—the idea that emotion becomes the shortcut for decision-making, especially in high-pressure or ambiguous situations.

• If your audience feels calm, they’ll minimize risk.

• If they feel urgency, they’ll act faster.

• If they feel confident, they’ll support bolder ideas.

Emotion doesn’t just color the message. It directs the outcome.

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Listen Before You Prep: 90 Seconds to Reset Your Focus

I recorded a short audio pep talk to help you reset your mindset before you start prepping.
It’s 90 seconds. Direct, practical, and designed to shift how you lead the room.

🎧 Listen now: How Do You Want Them to Feel?

✨ Save this and use it any time you’re gearing up for a big conversation.

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A Simple Shift That Changes Everything

Next time you’re preparing for an important meeting, don’t start with the content.

Start with the feeling.

Pick 1–2 emotional outcomes.
Design for them. Speak to them.
Build everything else around that.

Because the best communicators don’t just transfer information.
They spark movement.

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